What happened in Mexico?

The story of a girl who fell in love with an actor.

 

I watched as he entered the room with that same smug look on his face. I hate him.

“Not you. Anyone but you,” I could feel the life draining out of me as I looked into his beautiful brown eyes.

“So I’m going to assume that you didn’t miss me?” He leaned against the wall watching me.

“Are you seriously asking me if I missed you while you were away in Mexico with her?” I could strangle the life out of him and not regret it. How dare he come here?

“Don’t be like that, plus you know I wasn’t just with her. I came to explain,”

“What is there to explain, Nick? I don’t wanna hear the bullshit that’s about to come out your mouth,” It took every ounce of power in my body to restrain myself from slapping him. I want him to hurt the way he hurt me. The image of her replays in my mind and it won’t stop. I’m sick of seeing her. I will lose my fucking mind if I see her one more time.

“Stop there is no bullshit. I’m gonna tell you the truth because after everything,you deserve the truth. I’ve been in so much pain trying to figure out how to say this to you,” I watched him take a step towards me. I could see it in his eyes, the guilt was eating at him but I didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t my job to care anymore after everything. I want to care, I want to love him, I want to be with him but doing so will kill me.

“You want to tell me the truth, wow. That’s a first. What makes you think I will believe anything you have to say, Nick? What is there for you to say?” I could feel the tears forming, but I wouldn’t let them fall. I will be weak then he will come and save me like he always does. He’s my Superman. Always there when I was going through stuff. He’d wrapped me in his arms and fly me away.

Not anymore. I can’t allow him to be my Superman anymore. I have to be my own Superman. I have to be Supergirl.

“Alexandra stop. This isn’t how I imagined this conversation going. I thought things would go better than this,”

“And what did you think was gonna happen? You were gonna come here and feed me some more lies, and I would cry and so would you and then I would take you back like the idiot that I am!? Huh? Is that what you thought would happen cause trust me when I say this, I will never let that happen again! I can’t rely on you anymore,” It’s too late, the tears spilled from my eyes.

“Stop! Calm down, please. I came here so we could both talk like the adults that we are,”

“No! You’re the adult here, Nick. I’m the stupid teenage girl who fell in love with an actor,” More tears gushed from my eyes.

“What does me being an actor have to do with our relationship?”

“Everything Nick! You know how to fake emotions and it comes off as real. How can I trust how you feel? Acting is your job, it’s part of you and you’re always gone. I need you here but you’re not. I understand completely. I told you that when we started dating. Do you remember when we started dating? Do you remember what you said to me?” I watched as his brows furrowed. I didn’t have to think at all, I had that memorized, I could never forget it. Not after everything.

“Yeah I remember,”

“What did you say?”

“I said, My job causes me to leave and go away for long periods of time but I’m willing to work if you are. Are you sure you want to do this?’” With every word he said, he took a step forward until we were face to face. I didn’t move away nor push him away. The urge to be near him was strong, I could feel it in my bones. My skin ached at the loss it was feeling.

“Do you remember what you said, Alexandra?” His lips were dangerously close to mine.

“I remember,”

“What did you say?”

“I said, I don’t care if you go all the way to Paris, I will always want to be with you,” Our eyes locked, and I could feel it. The undying chemistry that the two of us share, I knew that it would never go away.

“Right. You said that you always want to be with me. I know that you still feel the same,” His hands found their way to my waist, his grip tightened as he pulled me closer to him. As if on cue, my arms wrapped around his neck. I stared at his lips. I need to feel his lips on mine.

“Things have changed, Nick. Things aren’t like they were back in July when we decided to start dating.” I wish things would go back to the way they were. It was all simple. I was on break enjoying summer. He was preparing to start school and enjoying his time off. He knew things would get hectic once September rolled around. Our schedules would be crazy.

“I know, I know. Just tell me that you don’t wanna get back together, and I will leave you alone,” He tilted his head towards mine. I could feel his breath on my neck. I wanted to say those words, I don’t want to be with you; not right now. I need time but I never have time for me. I love him, I really do; but do I love him enough to be in a relationship where I’m not happy? I don’t think being happy matters anymore. I wish things would go back to the way we were when we were together.

“I can’t do that,” I watched a bright smile dance across his face. He grabbed my face and closed the space between our lips. My mind traveled to some other place. His lips on mine felt amazing, there was no space between us anymore but that didn’t stop me from trying to bring him closer. His hands traveled up and down my back sending chills everywhere. He slammed me against the wall as the kiss grew stronger. The passion was growing with every second, and I knew this kiss was going places. His lips traveled down to my neck as my breathing grew rapid. My hands traveled up to his hair messing it up. His hands traveled under my shirt up to my bra.

“Stop wait. I can’t do this,” I broke the kiss avoiding eye contact.

“What’s wrong?” He took a step away and watched me.

“I want to but not right now, I mean we just got back together and I need to figure out how to tell everyone,” I leaned against the wall, sighing.

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell anyone, I mean so many people were involved in our relationship last time and it was annoying to be honest. maybe keeping it a secret will be better for us,” Maybe he had a point, involving many people in a two person relationship is too much. Maybe it should be just the two of us.

“Hey, I’m not telling you what to do, but I can tell you’re confused. You don’t have to make any decisions now, but whatever you decide I’ll stand by it,” There he goes again being my Superman. He planted a kiss on my cheek before making his way towards my bed, he sat down taking a deep breath. There was something off, I could feel it.

“What’s wrong? What just happened?”

“I need to tell you something,” I stood in silence, thinking of all the possible things that could come out of his mouth.

“It’s about Morgan.” It was as if time stopped. The temperature in the room dropped, trapping me in the cold. My hands started to shake and I couldn’t stop them. My gaze dropped to the floor, tracing the patterns on my carpet.

“What about her?” I couldn’t dare say her name.

“It’s why I came back, I wanted to tell you the truth about what happened. I need you to hear it from me and only me. I’m sorry all this happened, I just need you to know that. I swear I didn’t plan for any of this stuff to happen. I just-”

“What about her, Nick?” He only rambles when he knows that he’s messed up.

“Back in Mexico, we were at the house, it was just the two of us. Everyone went out but I didn’t feel like going anywhere, and she refused to leave me alone. We were hanging out in the main room watching some movie and talking. We were drinking a bit so maybe that’s why it happened,” Why it happened, this is great, just great.

“What?” I couldn’t hear it, the emotion in my voice, it was gone.

“We were on the couch talking and then-” He paused taking a deep breath. His eyes began to water. His tears were on the verge of spilling while mine were non-existent.

“We kissed,” I sucked in my breath as those words danced across the room.

“But it didn’t stop there,” He leaned forward as the tears rolled down his cheeks. I stood back watching.

“How far?” I remained calm, I couldn’t bring myself to feel.

“Far,” There he goes again sugarcoating things as if that will help ease the pain.

“I need to hear you say it. How far did it go, Nick?”

He looked at me pleading with his eyes, he didn’t want to say it. He couldn’t. But I don’t care, he shouldn’t have done it.

“Alexandra I can’t. I-I just can’t,” I couldn’t help but laugh. A genuine laugh escaped from my quivering lips

“What do you mean you can’t? You came here all prepared to tell me the truth that you thought that I deserved, and now you don’t have the guts to say the three words that you know will end everything. If you knew that telling me would hurt, then you shouldn’t have done it. What the hell is wrong with you!?” Slowly, my anger was rising.

“I did tell you,” His voice was small. He was on the verge of breaking, I could feel it. I want it to happen.

“No, you didn’t! Just say it, it’s not that hard,”

“I can’t! What about ‘I can’t’ don’t you understand?” He rose to his feet taking steps towards me.

“I don’t care if you can’t do it! This isn’t about you! This is about me and what you did to hurt me! So grow a pair and say it! Fucking say it! I dare you!” This was our relationship. Yelling at each other, pushing the other to strike first.

“We had sex! There, I said it. Morgan and I hooked up that day! We had sex! Are you happy, now?” The anger in Nick’s voice grew. I remained still in my spot watching him. Nick and Morgan were together in that way and just a few minutes ago we almost did it. My anger grew by the second.

“You asshole! How could you do this to me! What did I do to you that was so bad? I thought we were happy,” I couldn’t stop myself. I made my way towards him and starting hitting him on the chest. He just stood there unaffected as tears poured down his cheeks.

“I hate you! I hate you so much! I wish that I never met you, if I knew that you would do this to me I would have never dated you. I hate you, Nick. I hate everything about you! I want you gone!” Tears spilled and spilled, they wouldn’t stop. He grabbed both my arms and pulled me close to him. There was no point to fighting him anymore. He held me tightly as I cried into his chest. Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? All I wanted was to be with someone who loved me and wouldn’t hurt me. This isn’t fair, I deserve some form of happiness.

“I’m so sorry, Alexandra.”

Sorry? Sorry? Apologies mean nothing at this point. I pushed myself away from him. I made sure I was a few feet away before looking up at him.

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. That is the last thing I want to hear from you,” I backed away more until I hit the wall, I slid to the floor and brought my knees to my chest. I stared at the floor as more tears painted my cheeks. He took a step forward.

“Don’t,” My voice was harsh, dripping with venom. He stopped and looked down at me, seconds later I watched as he got down on the floor sitting across from me. He brought his knees up and rested his arms on them. We just got back together and then I find this out. I should’ve known that something like this would happen. I should’ve just told him no, I needed some time.

“I didn’t do this to hurt you. Me and Morgan happened while we were on that break. I didn’t know if you were going to take me back or what. I was scared and a little lonely,”

Me and Morgan. Me and Morgan.

“When did that happen?”

“Two days after you told me that you needed time away from me.” Two days. I can’t believe him.

“So while I was crying in the bathroom during school, you were hooking up with some other girl! You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, I swear I was.”

“Just because you swear you were going to tell someone something doesn’t mean you were going to actually tell them,” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I have to do this for my well being.

“Get out,”

“What?”

“I said get out. I want you out of my house and out of my life,”

“Alexandra, stop. Don’t do this, I know we can try and figure this out. We always find a way to solve our problems,” I watched as more tears leaked from his eyes.

“Not this time. I can’t keep doing this with you, this isn’t helping me get better. All of this is stressing me out more and I can’t handle this,” I kept my eyes trained on the floor, looking into his eyes would be a trap.

“No, no, stop,” his tears fell.

“No you stop. Stop telling me that we can fix this when you damn well know that we can’t. I’m falling apart here, Nick. I don’t have the strength to do this anymore and to be honest with you, I don’t want to do this anymore,” I stood up ignoring the pain in my chest at the sight of him sobbing on my floor.

“Please, don’t do this. I love you,” His voice cracked as he choked on his sobs

“I need you to leave,” I need to be alone. I have to be alone. He crawled over towards me grabbing my hands.

“Please, Alex. I’m a mess without you,”

“And I’m a mess with you,” I wiped his tears, my hand rested on his face for a moment.

“I can see that you need a minute so I’ll go. I’ll leave you alone so you can think about everything and get yourself together. When I come back, you should be gone,” I gave him one last look then made my way out the room.

As I closed my bedroom door, his sobs only got louder.

“I love you.”

Word Count: 2641