Mother & Child

Mother & Child
A bond that is supposed to be
Stronger than any in this world
I like to believe once upon a time
We shared that bond
I don’t think that anymore
I look at you and know that
You’re my mother
But you feel like a stranger
I would apologize for
Calling you a stranger
But I learned to stop
Apologizing for the words I mean
We’ve never been close, I know
Even when I was a child
I would look at my friends
And how they would interact
With their mothers
The differences blew my tiny mind
Even while watching television
I saw so many fictional characters
Who had what I didn’t
A real bond with the woman
Who brought them into this world
At the time I didn’t know
What that was or what it meant
But I do now
Yes we lived in the same house
And share the same blood
But we were on two separate planets
You did your job
You raised me, bathed me,
Clothed me, and fed me
You tried your best to shelter
Me from the evil of this world
Did all the things a mother is supposed
To do
You were a good mom, you are
In that sense
But emotionally, we never connected
When my little brother was born
That was the best day of my life
Finally, I had a sibling
I would no longer suffer alone
But I watched how you would
Interact with him
The same way my friends would
With their mothers
Over the years, I witnessed with
My own brown eyes
That Mother & Child bond that
We never had
Yes you took care of me and gave
Me a place to call home
Yet I still felt lost and alone
Unwanted at times
You weren’t there for me emotionally
You never were
You tried to, I know you did
I heard someone say once,
“You know how it is, Mothers and Daughters just break
And there ain’t no fixing it”
I don’t know the exact moment in time
When we broke
But I know that we did
And no matter how hard we tried
(And we tried so hard)
There was no fixing that
I don’t want to accept it
But it’s too late
Too much time has passed
We broke and we can’t fix that
I would apologize but
I stopped apologizing for
Saying the truth